An old joke goes something like this:

A wealthy, older man walked up to a young woman in a bar and asked, “Would you go to bed with me for a million dollars?”

“Of course,” she replied.

“Would you go to bed with me for $100?” asked the dirty old man.

“Of course not. What do you think I am?”

“I know what you are. I’m just trying to establish the price,” said the old man as he turned and walked away.

In 2005, Melania Trump was asked if she would be with Trump if he wasn’t rich. Her answer was “If I weren’t beautiful, do you think he’d be with me?”

He bought the piece of arm candy that is Melania, and she sold it to him for what she deemed a fair price. Could she have sold herself to someone else for more money? Probably not.

Depending on the terms of her prenup, she will stay with him until she maxes out on the money. Trump does not offer generous terms on prenups, so she is probably better off financially staying with him.

Melania planned on selling her name as ‘Melania’ due to prestige as first lady, according to her own statement in a lawsuit filing. She had a prior failed attempt to brand her name in caviar skin lotions, and claimed in a sworn deposition that she had a degree in architecture, which is a false statement. She claimed she did not work while she had a tourist visa to visit the US, but payroll records admitted into evidence in a subsequent bankruptcy filing by the company that paid her showed she received payment for work as a model.

Melania and Trump are both snakes, they are equally egocentric, completely lacking in moral compass. Until it is more advantageous financially to one or the other, Trump and Melania will stay happily married.

In other words, Melania is just trying to “establish the price”.

Jerry Nelson spends much of his time poking Trump’s meth-addled, uneducated fans with a pointy stick and is currently writing a book of muskrat recipes as well as a scrapbook of his favorite death threats. His life’s aspiration is to rule the world with an iron fist, or find that sock he’s been looking for. Feel free to email him at if you have any questions or comments — or join the million (seriously) or so who follow him on Twitter @Journey_America.

Never far from his Marlboros and coffee, Jerry is always interested in discussing future writing opportunities.

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