Band Names Inspired by the President
Like writer and blogger John Green has a passion for famous last words, I am often on the hunt for the perfect band name. A great band name, plastered across a weathered t-shirt with the tour dates and venues rolling down the back, is a beautiful thing.
While the President has offered us sound bites and quotes that will surely live in infamy, I think some good can come from his reckless blathering. Therefore, I have composed a list of ten band names taken from direct quotes (or tweets) of our dear leader. As I am not musically gifted and my dream of fronting the next RHCP has withered with the years, these names are free for any aspiring garage band or America’s Got Talent star.
1. The Very Stable Geniuses
This is my personal favorite and if I were musically gifted this would be my band name.
I’m getting an Icelandic vibe. Definitely for a band that utilizes whale echoes and refuses to write lyrics in English.
3. The Pussy Grabbers
How this wasn’t an 80s hair-metal band already is beyond me. Steel Panther definitely missed an opportunity here.
4. The Little Rocket Men
Heavy on piano ballads and could also be an Elton John parody band.
5. Bad Hombres
I discovered that this is already a band name. I can’t find whether they’re named after the infamous quote or just had pristine foresight.
6. Some Very Fine People
Just vague enough to tickle the fancy. You also get to say “I’m going to see Some Very Fine People Saturday night,” which could mean the band or a swath of roving white supremacists and no one would know the difference.
7. My African-American Friend
Perfect for a solo career like Peter Gabriel or Jackson Browne.
8. Fake News (Killed Hillary Clinton)
Clean and timely. Definitely see a 21st century R.E.M. here.
9. Saddam Hussein Was Good
Okay, this isn’t an exact quote, but he basically said this on The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch in 2006. I find it perfect for the Baathist heavy metal scene or a 90s shock-rock band that features whips and chains and human mutilation.
10. Huge Financials
Great for another band that wants to be named for a dick innuendo. See Whitesnake, The Sex Pistols, Third Eye Blind, Steely Dan, et al. It is truly astounding how many bands are named after dicks.
*If you think I’ve missed any gems please leave them in the comments below and I’ll add them to the list. We still have three more years of this, so I’m expecting the list to grow exponentially.
Ben D’Alessio is a writer and law student in New Orleans, LA. His debut novel, Binge Until Tragedy, is available on Amazon and the publisher’s page. 25% of profits are donated to the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN). You can read the back cover blurb and the first two chapters on his Medium page.