Donald Trump’s invitation to Filipino President Rodrigo Duterte

By Steven W. Rouach

Pictured: Durante Inventing “The Fist Bump”, Which Was Originally Followed By An Execution, But Over Time Has Been Shortened To A Form Of Handshake / Greeting.

I’m surprised that people find it surprising Donald Trump wants to spend some quality time with Filipino President Rodrigo Duterte.

To me, it falls into the category of: someone who wants to appear taller so he makes friends with Peter Dinklage. See, unlike Donald Trump, Duterte doesn’t really take the time to cover up his many murders, which makes it appear to many, that Duterte is possibly not a good guy, or a nice man. So if Trump is seen with him he’ll then appear “nicer”, and “more well balanced”.

This makes a LOT of sense. Remember Trump’s tragic “rookie mistake” of meeting with Prime Minister of Canada Justin Trudeau? Here’s a photo taken at that event to remind you of what that looked like.

Pictured (L-R) Justin Trudeau, and Donald Trump.

As you can see from the above photo of that meeting, having the two leaders sitting next to each other displayed the vast differences between them in demeanor, temperament and species. Treudeau is very popular, even with many people not named Treudeau, and seems to have a good grasp of what he’s doing or saying at any given time. He’s also handsome and charming which is why he reminds me of me. This emphasized the flaws in Donald Trump, which includes: all known flaws. In fairness Trump has since lashed out at Canada in retribution for this.

So conversely, putting Trump next to world leaders that are known for the extrajudicial brutal killings of thousands of their own people such as Rodrigo “Finito” Duterte, gives him a “softer” image. As seen below

Duterte Graciously Helps Soften Trump’s Image

The White House pushed back against criticism of President Donald Trump’s invitation to President Duterte Monday, saying: “The President is interested in human rights issues, but only for humans whose last name is Trump, and not even all of them, somewhere between 50–60 % would be most accurate.” a senior administration official said.

Now begins a series of campaigns to have Trump made to seem less tragically insane and incomprehensibly contemptable and abysmal as a human being. This clever idea was dreamed up by none other than Trump’s senior advisor, Stephen Miller (R. Fraggle Rock), who used a similar method in his own life.

Pictured: Miller Testing Limits Of Human Endurance To Creepiness.

Said Miller, in my very exclusive interview with him:

“Growing up, I came to realize that all people find me amazingly unlikable, creepy and repugnant. As a baby, my mother had to be restrained on many occasions from tossing me out of a window. Milk curdles in my presence, so I’m lactose intolerant and I’m not allowed within 2800 feet of any dairy farms. So I tried to surround myself with people more disturbing than me, but after an exhausive world-wide search I was only able to come up with one. Here’s the guy I hung out with when I was growing up.

Pictured: Stephen Miller’s Friend and Known Nazi Sympathizer, Edward R. Vorganism.

Miller continued: “So now the plan is to line up Donald with people who are even more terrifying or repulsive than he is.”

I then asked for some examples, but Miller became suddenly and disturbingly “flirty”, and started undressing whereas I grabbed the papers we were discussing off his desk, shoved him out of my way and fled from his office regretting I didn’t have a grenade to toss behind me, as jumping in slow motion away from fiery explosions to escape danger appeals to my heroic nature.

Having procured this information here are some upcoming meetings meant to make Trump look favorable to the public. Such as:

1. His upcoming dinner honoring Syria’s most famous madman, Bashar al-Assad, at Mar-a-Lago where al-Assad will be served some parasitic fish and delicious chocolate cake, also with parasites, due to the Mar-a-Lago’s use of health code violations in lieu of ingredients.

2. Kim Jong-un. Notice -All of a sudden he wants to meet with Kim Jong-un instead of trying to trick Jong-un of taking care of Trump’s “California problem”. Jung-un and Trump together will be adorable, to people from other dimensions viewing it through a rift. I picture them having a lovely day together where they’ll go on a canoe, followed by a picnic, followed by them watching the sunset and talking about their lives in causing other people’s deaths.

3. Ruler of Chechnya, Ramzan Kadyrov who’s hobbies include genocide for gays, will be bowling with Trump for some photo ops, followed by a private sit-down meeting where they discuss John Oliver.

The problem with this strategy is the repercussions. While teaming up Trump with Duterte, al-Assad, Jong-un and Kadyrov, in Abbott and Costello based bits might indeed make Trump seem more palatable to his detractors, Trump’s supporters will conversely warm up to Duterte, al-Assad, Jong-un and Kadyrov, finding them likable, which to me, signifies a disturbing trend.

Written by Steven W. Rouach

FUN FACT : Every time you hit the little “recommend” heart on the bottom of the page of one of my stories, an angel gets its wings, instead of plummeting to a horrifying death due to winglessness.


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