Sessions: “Aren’t We All A Little Racist?”
I sat down with with Senator Jeff Sessions ahead of his confirmation as attorney general. Sessions has come under fire for alleged racist comments and a spotty civil rights record.
PA: Thank you for joining me, senator.
JS: What’s your name?
JS: What’s that? Mexican?
PA: It’s Spanish.
JS: But from Mexico, right?
PA: I’m not sure I understand that question. My family’s from Spain.
JS: But you were born in Mexico…?
PA: I was born in New Jersey.
JS: Raised in Mexico?
PA: I’ve never been to Mexico.
JS: Not even on spring break?
PA: No, I went to the Bahamas.
JS: You should go down there. Check it out. It’s really nice.
PA: Are you trying to get me to go down there so that I get trapped behind the wall?
JS: What wall? I don’t know anything about a wall. *coughs*
PA: The wall President Trump intends to construct along our southern border.
JS: Oh, right, that wall. Totally forgot about that. No, I just think you should visit Mexico. The Mexican people are great when they’re down there.
PA: You do know I’m an American citizen, right?
JS: Sure, now you are.
PA: I was born in Hoboken, New Jersey, in the same hospital Frank Sinatra was born.
JS: You have a green card?
PA: No, I’m an American citizen.
JS: When were you naturalized? ‘86?
PA: I was born AND raised in the United States. I don’t even speak Spanish that well.
JS: But your English is so good.
PA: That makes no sense.
JS: Maybe, but I’ve got the votes.
PA: Senator, are you racist?
JS: Aren’t we all a little racist?
JS: Define *air quotes* racism.
PA: Believing one race of people is inherently superior to another race of people.
JS: I mean, under that broad definition, sure, I’m racist.
PA: Don’t you think that’s a problem?
JS: No, no, you misunderstand. I rarely say blatantly racist things out loud. I just think them to myself. Hard.
PA: How do you feel about Senator Warren excoriating your record?
JS: That time of the month, amiright?
PA: Senator, are you sexist?
JS: Define *air quotes* sexism.