Trump, after ingesting entire bottle of brown shoe polish, blathers incoherently to Mexico’s president for 50 WHOLE MINUTES!

A brand new kind of foreign policy.

Despite the lack of music, Trump, bizarrely, danced the Macarena throughout Enrique Peña Nieto’s entire speech.

In the past, many American presidents never experimented with military grade weaponized LSD, and then, immediately proceed to talk to other world leaders.

Analyzing this, I’m now assuming the thought… just never occurred to them. Donald J. Trump* invented this. He’s the first to act out this idea. And, I guess, there’s a certain amount of “well we’ve never tried this, as a tactic or strategy, let’s give it a whirl” kind of feeling over at the McMaster / Mattis White House Adult Daycare Center & Tantrum Facility.

*He now prefers to be called by his rap-music nickname, D.J. Butthole-Poopy-Lips

So, as Trump’s administration is still busy looking to find replacement staff members that commit spousal abuse with less tangible trails of evidence, Trump took it upon himself, to ingest powerful experimental narcotics that would amount to all the earthly remains of Syd Barrett, and picked up the phone, to somehow, simultaneously bore and terrify, Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, (a human, from Earth). Here’s a transcript.

Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto: Hello?

Trump: Hey, so, is it true you guys rape a lot? I don’t know where I heard that…

Peña Nieto: WHAT?!? Are you… drunk or insane?

Trump: Oh, it’s so much worse than any of that, and all of it combined! People would be really, really, really, freaked out if they saw what’s in my head. Terrified! — It’s like ‘A Clockwork Orange’ but acted out by the Muppets. Hey, are you raping anyone right now, or is now a good time to talk? I feel like I can come up with some really, really interesting stuff! Oh, and tell whoever you’re raping, about my 2016 election win! It was the most fantastic, AMAZING, great, historic… wait… who am I talking to again?

Peña Nieto: I’m Mexico’s President Enrique Peña Nieto,… you…you called me, to talk like a complete idiot and a maniac madman and accuse me of rape. Loco El Diablo Dotardo…

Trump: Yeah, I’ll do that. it’s kind of ‘my thing’. So, enough pleasantries! I want you to say Mexico is going to pay for the wall I want to build. And then, YOU can set up a giant store that sells ladders on your side, and keep all the money from that! Ladders are cheap to make, and you can really move a lot of units…

Peña Nieto: I’m actually hanging up, but I think you should pretend that I’m not hanging up, and just keep going…

Trump: Now, WHO is this again,… and did you call me… or did I call you?

Click… dial tone, (but a Mexican dial tone… I’m not sure what that sounds like...)

So, as you can see from the exchange above, Trump’s call is being considered “Highly Strategic” according to the subtle body movements of some ducks that were asked to comment on this. Many humans, however, think that Trump randomly calling various other world leaders, to spout completely incoherent gibberish at them, in a sort of semi-conscious fugue state of total befuddlement, might be a bad thing.

The debate rages on.

Written by Steven W. Rouach

©2018 SWRouach

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