TRUMP and the NRA

Trump = almost as “TOUGH” on the NRA, as he is with Vladimir Putin.

If you sat down with a 3 year old child and said “how can we prevent mass murders in schools?”, the child might respond: “Give all the teachers GUNS -pwew-pwew -pwew-, and get robots with lasers, and everyone wears Iron Man suits”!

Amazingly, this is pretty much the idea that Trump* and the NRA have come up with to protect children from being massacred. 
(*Inventor of smiling and giving a thumbs up when visiting hospitalized survivors of a mass killing, during times of national mourning. See picture below).

Pictured: $31,000,000 NRA reasons to smile!

Of course, the very idea of banning MILITARY GRADE MACHINE GUNS SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED TO KILL HUNDREDS OF HUMANS PER SECOND, obviously isn’t an option. We, as a country, NEED to have it so that anyone, anywhere, can easily purchase the kind of weaponry I could have singlehandedly won World War 2 with. Weapons specifically designed for one person to murder large sections of opposing armies on a battlefield, of course, NEED to be available for ordinary, everyday use. To think otherwise is just silly.

Trump, recently got tough by calling the NRA “Great people” and “American patriots”, and furthering the BRILLIANT idea of ARMING TEACHERS. Just like an old western movie. School classes can just be held in old-timey saloons with swinging doors, and anytime the need arises, we can have a good old- fashioned student-teacher shoot-out.


So, let’s look at teachers. They went to school in order to learn how to teach things like math, and reading, which of course are useless in weekly massacres, but, SHOCKINGLY- they have little to no battlefield experience handling high-end military grade machine guns!

I know, right?

So, obviously our only recourse is to fire everyone in our education system, and replace them with highly trained soldiers, possibly Navy Seals, armed with MG 42’s adapted with rocket launcher and grenade attachments, and, possibly, flamethrowers. Of course, between massacres, they would teach ordinary curriculum like math and science, as well as camouflage techniques, and learning basic tactical survival techniques, such as: which walls can be used to shield children in various ammunition situations.

Marco Rubio, also defended his receiving over $3 MILLION DOLLARS from the NRA, by saying: “I LIKE GETTING $3 MILLION DOLLARS! If you students can pay me that, I’ll vote against unstable teenagers being allowed to buy as many machine guns as they can carry”.

Oh, inspiring words, indeed.

So, all we have to do, as a country to prevent mass murder in schools and other public places: is to raise enough money to match the NRA’s funding of politicians who don’t really care whether their own constituents are riddled with hundreds of bullets. Here’s that.

Sen. Richard Burr: $6.9 million

Sen. Roy Blunt: $4.5 million

Sen. Thom Tillis: $4.4 million

Rep. French Hill: $1.1 million

Rep. Ken Buck: $829,377

Rep. David Young: $697,778

Cory Gardner: $3,879,064

Bill Cassidy: $2,861,047

Joni Ernst: $3,124,273

Donald Trump: $31,000,000

Marco Rubio: $3,303,355

And of course there’s Rick Scott, a man who looks like a cartoon drawing of a sperm. I was unable to find the information about the exact money number that Scott receives to keep his “A+” NRA Rating. Let’s just assume it’s: A LOT.

Separated at birth…

So, our options are:

  1. Heavily Armed School Teachers, as envisioned in a comic book version of a cartoon drawn by idiots.
  2. Come up with a $100,000,000 annual budget between ordinary citizens, to buy back politicians who are being paid by the NRA.

Either way, it looks like the AR-15 assault weapon, responsible for the murder of 20 very small children in Sandy Hook, and 14 teenagers in Florida, and is actually used in 5 out of 6 mass shootings, will still be readily available for anyone who wants to purchase one.


Written by Steven W. Rouach

©2018 SWRouach

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