TRUMP Solving the H.R. McMaster Problem.
There’s a problem with H.R. McMaster.
The problem with H.R. McMaster, is that he keeps ANNOYING and PESTERING Donald Trump — by trying to inform him about REALLY IMPORTANT things, that all presidents before, and after (if there is an ‘after’) him would BE REALLY CONCERNED ABOUT, and would want to be informed of, due to… reasons.
Here’s how that goes.
McMaster: Mr. Trump, Oh, dear lord, these guys here are gearing up for a possible nuclear strike and there’s significant military movement —
Trump: I stopped listening two seconds after you said the word ‘Trump’…Hey, WHY are you bald? Did you ever think of growing it real long in the back and then just combing it over to the front, it would —
McMaster: OH, my GOD,… try to focus…we’re probably all going to die and we need to figure out —
Trump: A COWBOY HAT!! What about a nice, white, cowboy hat? You should wear one of those…
See? This is a problem.
McMaster is fine, just trying to do his job. Donald J. Trump*, if you haven’t already guessed, is the problem.. in this, and every, equation, and situation.
*(Trump now prefers to be called by his rap nickname: DJ Putin Butt-Licka).
So, there are 5 stages when someone joins Trumps “staff ” or, “Cabinet Of Spooooooky GHOULS”.
This is why it’s DIFFICULT to find humans, from Earth, to fill these positions, and Trump mostly relies on hiring demons, from Hell, to work for him.
McMaster, was hired by Trump by mistake, due to Trump’s insistence on hiring H.R. Pufnstuf, (in the belief that “he’d be there when things get rough”). Trump wrote this in a memo, but because Donald Trump’s handwriting looks like a Rorschach test for birds, McMaster was mistakenly hired instead.
Now, we NEED McMaster. We do. He’s one of the few relatively sane people wandering around the White House, in a state of constant disbelief and shock.
BUT, McMaster VEXES Trump, because of the whole sanity, and not being overtly evil thing, which causes friction, (much like many interactions between 3-star Generals and semi-sentient ferrets suffering from dementia would).
So, there are plans within the Kelly/Mattis White House Adult Daycare Center, to keep McMaster at his post, so that we all don’t die on fire, due to Trump’s well-documented, blithering idiocy.
Here are some of those plans.
- Have McMaster wear a Beatles Wig, and tell Trump his name is General Ringo McStarr.
2. Have McMaster wear a furry Russian hat, so that Trump will enthusiastically share highly classified information with him.
3. Dress McMaster up as Big Bird from Sesame Street. — FUN!
4. Have McMaster master (or, McMaster), Puppetry! So that Trump can better pay attention to dire, and important intelligence briefings, as opposed to paying no attention, AT ALL.
So, EXCITED about having one of the three people in charge of reigning in Trump’s profoundly idiotic lunacy leave his post? Are YOU planning to dress McMaster in a silly costume to make sure he stays put? Let us know in the comments below!
Written by Steven W. Rouach
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