Why Are You so Biased Against President Trump?

I guess you just haven’t been paying attention.

From the early 80s, I was aware that a really rich guy in New York by the name of Donald Trump existed. I knew he built big buildings and was in the casino business. I was aware that he (or his businesses, whatever) filed for bankruptcy a few times. I knew he favored Eastern European women as wives, at least until Marla Maples came along. That’s about it. I am not a celebrity hound, rarely watched Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, and could not have cared less about the New York social or financial scene. Donald Trump was just another name I knew.

But then, Barack Obama became president, and I began to see and hear Donald Trump all over the place, peddling some crap about Obama not being an American citizen, that he was really born in Kenya, was a Muslim, etc. I had never heard a duly elected president’s birth record questioned before, and as time went on, it became clear that not only was Trump a rabid conspiracy nut, but he was a liar as well (“DONALD TRUMP: Well, I have people that actually have been studying it and they cannot believe what they’re talking.

You have people now out there searching– I mean, in Hawaii?

Absolutely. And they cannot believe what they’re finding. And I’m serious — ” Trump: My investigators in Hawaii can’t believe what they are finding)

There were no people who couldn’t believe what they were finding.

If the birther garbage were the only thing, I would still be “biased” against Trump, because I am biased against lying conspiracy mongers as a matter of principal; but, he continued to dig an even deeper hole. First with his “Mexican rapist” speech, then his constant, childish insults and ridicule of his primary opponents, his disgusting comments about Megyn Kelly, his mockery of a disabled reporter, his gross insult of a Vietnam POW, John McCain, the revelation of the “grab ’em by the pussy” tape, and on and on and on. He has never stopped revealing the deplorable, juvenile, churlish, bigoted, and misogynistic person he was under his thin orange skin.

To me, Trump is like the love child of Ayn Rand and Barney Fife, with a good dose of Watergate era Richard Nixon thrown in.

Jerry Nelson spends much of his time poking Trump’s meth-addled, under-educated fans with a pointy stick and is currently writing a book of muskrat recipes as well as a scrapbook of his favorite death threats. His life’s aspiration is to rule the world with an iron fist, or find that sock he’s been looking for. Feel free to email him at jandrewnelson2@gmail.com if you have any questions or comments — or join the million (seriously) or so who follow him on Twitter @Journey_America.

Never far from his Marlboros and coffee, Jerry is always interested in discussing future writing opportunities.

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